Reflections from Commencement Season

May on campus is commencement season. Each day, I watch students all over our beautiful campus taking pictures, donned in caps, gowns, graduation cords, and stoles. While this happens in numerous places, I have a special "front row seat" for one of the most iconic graduation pictures for our students – the front steps of Burruss Hall. Several times a day, my head turns to my window when I hear joyous cheers and I am rewarded with glimpses of glitter and mortarboards thrown in the air captured by photographers and cheered on by friends and loved ones. The enthusiasm is contagious, and I find myself smiling. I even enjoy the daily practice of cleaning up the glitter I track into my office.

For our returning students, that visible reminder of success and perseverance offers hope for their own journeys. I know seeing their peers' success and joy is a much needed boost as exams, final projects, papers, and presentations begin in earnest.

In addition to the mood boost I get watching graduates around campus, I also find myself reflecting back on the year. So much happens on campus and students change so much from August to May. As family members, you know this, too, as you reflect on the text messages, phone calls, FaceTime and Zoom sessions you had this year. You can track so much learning, success, and growth for your students, alongside those moments of disappointment, loneliness, and frustration. I wonder if you are like me, wishing you could capture some of those if-I-had-known-then-what-I-know-now moments to reflect back to your student just how much they have grown this year.

Capturing those moments of reflection reminded me of an article in the New York Times from 2018, "Your Graduation Speeches in 50 Words," by Lauren Hard. Prior to the article, they asked readers to share the lesson they would impart if they were giving a commencement speech. Here are my favorites from the article:

"Someone else’s success does not define your own. Rather than compete with others in your class, share and support one another. Send job posts, check in with your peers. Community is about building one another up and sharing the wealth. Your turn will come." — Jessica Villagomez, 22, Chicago, IL

"Find your mantra — a saying, a cliché, a made-up word, a slice of song, a piece of a poem, your grandma’s beloved Yiddish phrase, your grandpa’s treasured hymn — find your own powerful words that when strung together, provide safety, happiness, calm, comfort, stability. Because life is hard." – Alex Novak, 26, Denver, CO

And, of course, this one:

"Never type anything, anywhere, that you’d be embarrassed if your mother read it. It will serve you well." — Amy Leader, 42, Wayne, PA.

No one can argue with that last piece of advice. I believe it is worthy of practical implementation in our digital lives. I believe those first two pieces of would-be-graduation speech advice are helpful for you as family members, to help your students process their year. It can be so easy to compare success and let that be the main metric of evaluation. But the second part of that advice puts the focus on how we measure our success by how we support others. This year, I have watched Hokies lean into our university motto, Ut Prosim (That I May Serve), by supporting one another and by building a community based on service, generosity, and kindness. The second piece of advice offers a way to navigate the difficult moments. I know that life on campus is not always easy; those moments of loneliness, struggle, frustration, and disappointment are real. I encourage you to ask your students how they have contributed to building our supportive community? You can also ask them, "When times were hard, what words or phrases or actions helped you persevere?"

The end of an academic year offers a unique moment of reflection. I hope each of you will take time to celebrate your student’s accomplishments and provide praise and affirmation for the ways they helped show up for and support their fellow Hokies. As they prepare for the coming year or their first job, help them find words that make it easier when the difficult times of life emerge. The view from my office will be much quieter after commencement. I will wait with anticipation to see the return of students in August! Go Hokies!