A Rainbow in the Frat House: A Gay Man's Exploration of Greek Life

Going to college for many is seen as very challenging and fearful, but for me, it was a great escape. Coming from a small rural town in North Carolina and being gay came with more challenges than one could assume. Moving to college was an adventure that was the beginning of finding people like myself, those who only saw people for who they are rather than their identity. On my first day at Virginia Tech, I immediately felt that everyone around me was so bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, eager to discover the mysteries of living amongst your peers as an adult. During the fall season, amongst move-in, the beginning of classes, football games, and meeting new people, everyone agrees that this energy makes the air feel exciting. For me, even at some points, it was draining trying to keep up with all these events. However, I knew I was determined to find myself at a school that never seemed to sleep. 

During move-in, I settled into my dorm and immediately went into the common area to talk to as many people as possible; I was already pre-determined to find my community. However, finding a community can take time. That is when I went onto GobblerConnect and spent the next few hours searching for where I could find such a thing – a space for gay men and allies to coexist. That is when I stumbled upon Delta Lambda Phi, the first-ever fraternity for queer men at Virginia Tech; after submitting the interest form, I waited for what might happen. Would they deny me, or worse, never even respond? Instead, I rushed as a Freshman right into college because I was determined to find my home in a world that seemed so big that it was overwhelming at some points. The rush process for Delta Lambda Phi was not as horrific as they put it in the movies; while I will not spoil it for any potential incoming freshman, walking into my first rush event was nothing but welcoming. For the first time, I was not the only gay guy in the room; for once, I felt at home. Throughout the rush and pledge process, we were actively challenged to learn, grow, develop, and mold ourselves into those we could call brothers. Delta Lambda Phi brought me a community where I could share memories that would last a lifetime. Being a gay man in an inclusive fraternity is one of the most significant reasons I have come to recognize the role I can play in helping to foster that sense of community and inclusivity everywhere I go. This past year, I have taken on the initiative to lead as the Vice President for Shared Governance for the Undergraduate Student Senate. Our mission is to better the overall undergraduate student body experience on campus. However, I am not the only story there is to tell about what life is like as a gay man in a frat. There are so many stories throughout Virginia Tech that go untold, so many experiences that need to be shared. 

While many would assume being a frat guy is not always similarly referenced as being a gay man, you might be surprised that gay men exist everywhere, in every space. I have found a similarity in talking to other queer men in Greek life. While there is the stereotype that Greek life does not include queer identities, that is a misconception. Queer men and women can exist in every fraternity and sorority. Growing past these misconceptions has helped fuel my development into the leader I am today, and knowing every student on campus has the same potential to embody the value we all hold dearest in our hearts, Ut Prosim (That I May Serve). If it were not for my fraternity and the many other lived experiences I have had within Greek life, I would not be the person I am today. Delta Lambda Phi holds a special place in my heart because of the space it creates for people like myself and others who aren’t like me, but that is the beauty in it all. I hope after reading this, every freshman coming to Virginia Tech may know that while this moment in your life is very daunting and scary at times, that in the end, there is always a space and a community waiting for you here. Go Hokies!